Ruination
by liquid-thought
Summary: A better man could have controlled himself


A better man would have said no, would have stopped, would have reasoned with her and told her to wait, to save it for the better man. But Dean wasn't a better man, he was selfish and human and he listened to her pleas. He listened when she said, "I've had other things in me, I have toys. I just want you to be my real first." And listened even more to her insistence and her reasoning, "you've always tried to take care of me, Dean. You don't have to be here anymore but you are, just take care of me now." _Fuck_ she was so young, still in fucking _high school_ for Christ's sake and he should have stopped.

Her sweet little moan when his tongue touched her shouldn't have made him harder. For a fleeting second he tried to think of anything to make himself stop, including her dead father. His mind blanked when she moaned his name, all soft and shaky when his fingers slid in. Whatever she'd had inside her was probably just big enough to break her hymen because she was still so tight he wasn't sure he'd fit.

Looking up was a mistake, but so was this entire thing. Her hands were kneading her breasts, fingers pinching and rolling her nipples. Suddenly she wasn't the only one moaning. His eyes closed as he kept working, her clit throbbing and swollen on his tongue when he dragged it up nice and slow. It was painfully obvious she'd never had anything like this before, her reactions so intense and raw.

Her soft fingers reached down and grasped at his hair and he was thankful he hadn't had time to gel it that morning. She pulled him closer, her thighs quaking and drawing together around his head. His fingers moved faster, rubbing her slick walls and wanting so badly to feel them wrapped around his cock. Every swipe of his tongue and fingers brought out a small breathy sound, _oh, oh, Dean!_ There was no way he could have resisted, not with her pretty little mouth running non-stop with his name. Without warning she clenched around his fingers and he thought he might die right there because if she did _that_ on his cock he was going to be fucking ruined.

The house was empty and he counted it as a blessing because the way she seized, breath held until she let it out in a long, loud moan would have been more than enough for someone to come investigating. His shirts were already gone, his jeans and boxers easily discarded when he made to move.

Crawling up her body was really where he should have stopped, he should have backed off and left. But instead he nibbled and kissed her belly, he sucked her nipples and rubbed sweet circles into her hips with his thumbs.

His mouth was on her left nipple, sucking and pulling with his teeth when she asked, "can I ride you?"

_Fuck yes_ was all he could think, any reasons why he shouldn't be there with her long gone. He rolled them over, her soft little hands on his shoulders. It was just sex, at least that was what he told himself when he kissed her. Her jaw was perfectly cradled in the palm of his hand, her smooth skin reminding him that he probably should have shaved. He scooted up and sat back against the wall, his legs hanging over the edge of her bed and the bedroom door perfectly in his line of sight. Then the only thing in his line of sight was her eyes, the color of burnt sugar and filled with fire. This time she kissed him, one hand trailing down to rub his cock. There was no intent or experience behind it, just curious fingers rubbing and palming the head, tracing veins and squeezing until he moaned and pushed up.

Their kiss broke, lips still touching when he smiled to her. "Tease."

She laughed and he refused to admit that it was anything more than a laugh to his own ears, his heart. Everything hit so fucking close, but he ignored it in favor of the way she ran him up and down her lips, slick heat teasing him further. Even if she talked a big game Krissy was nervous, he could see it. He took her face in his hands and kissed her slowly, small bits of tension melting out of her as she lined him up and slid down slowly. One of his arms slid down to wrap around her midsection as his lips moved over to her ear, suckling on the lobe and kissing around the shell. A soft little whimper hitched out of her mouth as he bottomed out. It was a struggle to steady himself and talk. "You okay, baby girl?"

She took a deep breath, resting one arm across his shoulders and grabbing the bicep of the arm curled around her. After a moment she leaned forward and kissed him again and he knew she couldn't get enough either. The hand on her jaw tangled in her hair, rubbing her scalp tenderly. When she started moving he broke the kiss, cursing and gripping her hair a bit tighter between his fingers. Her eyelids fluttered, her kiss-swollen lips remaining parted as she panted and moaned. Every drag in and out of her tight little body made him want to go against his words of _one time thing_ because she was fucking ruining him, just like he knew she would. And somewhere between the fourth and seventh gyration of her hips he must have said that aloud because she whined and nodded. "It's okay, Dean, me too."

The grinding, languid thrusts of her down on him tore at every piece of restraint he had, every part of him that could have walked away from this. She dug her nails into his skin like cleats and sped up, their eyes locked in a stare way too intimate for a first time. His hands went to her hips and hers went to his chest, both of them hanging on as their bodies took over when their minds were slipping away. Something buried deep in him sparked when she clenched, so close to orgasm that her body was just begging for it. The motion of her hips swiveling and circling was hypnotic and he could picture her wearing a cute little belly dancing outfit, moving around the floor as he sat down and watched.

Everything she had was going into this, just like everything she did. He knew that if he said anything, if he let on that he wanted more that she would pour everything she was into him as well. Could he be that selfish?

"Fuck, Dean, gonna come." She pushed down and ground against him, mouth opening and nails digging hard into his muscles. Her body clenched around him, squeezing so hard it almost hurt before it gave way to the rhythmic fluttering and her breathy moans. That beautiful face of hers was going lax in pleasure, the rest of her body falling into him as it followed suit.

As he rearranged them so he was on top he realized that, yes, he could be that selfish. The world took every fucking thing from him over and over again. This time he would take something and keep it, he would keep her. She smiled so wide when he started thrusting, her legs sitting just above his hips. The sounds she made were more sated, little ah noises instead of the urgent, sharp ones from before.

Even after getting off twice she still moved with him, rubbed over his skin and felt the muscles working underneath. The power he had over her was so evident here, when they were bare of any pretense and clothing. He kissed her, another slow one that turned more heated when she sucked on his tongue. The warmth that had begun pooling at the base of his spine was spreading fast. He broke the kiss to breathe, not expecting to hear her voice slipping through the air. "Dean, come for me."

_Fuck_ if that didn't make him lose his damn mind, slamming into her and doing just as she asked. His eyes closed, his head falling onto the pillow next to hers as he moaned and called out to a God he didn't care about or believe in. Her name was on his lips in a chant as he held her close by the hips, his still pushing and grinding down for a long minute before his body finally let him stop.

When everything calmed and he could remember where he was and who he was with he slipped out slowly, rolling off to the side in a way that was more like falling than anything controlled.

She curled into him and traced over the tattoo on his chest, his arm slid around her, pulling her close as the chill in the air finally hit and made him want to pull the blankets up. He looked down at her as she looked up, trying to will himself not to smile so maybe he could save her from ever wanting more of him. It really shouldn't have surprised him when he failed, a matching smile lifting her lips so gorgeously that in the end he didn't care. Their lips met, soft pushes and pulls that were almost chaste considering the circumstances.

When they parted he sighed, letting her rest her forehead on his. "I'm not a good man, Krissy."

She scoffed. "You're a great man."

It made him ache to hear the conviction in that statement, the lack of hesitation with which she answered, so sure when she knew so little. "I want to grab you and run."

Another kiss, just over the corner of his mouth, followed quickly by three more that led to his ear. "I want to let you."

She was half on top of him, nosing at the tuft of hair in front of his ear when he hugged her close, his thumb brushing over a spot in the middle of her back that would be perfect for an anti-possession tattoo just like his.


End file.
